The Fifth Commandment

' Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land whcih the Lord your God is giving you' Exodus 20:12

The Fifth Commandment ushers us into the series of commandments that deal with relationship with other people. Six of the commandments - the fifth through the tenth - serve as the standards of conduct for human behaviour that generates the far out reaching consequences of individuals on other individuals, families, groups and society.

No-one can doubt that we have reached a point to where our conduct towards one another has become appalling. The intesity, and the graphic violence we to others is in God's scope inexcusable,

So God by the begining with this Fifth through the tenth commandments establishes the basic principles by which we can have workable relations with one another. These six define with clarity the areas of behaviour in which human nature creates for itself the biggest roadblocks to peace and co-operation. They provide us with guidance to remove these roadblocks.

And this Fifth Commandment sets the tone for the remainder of God's moral law. It addresses the importance of our learning how to treat one another from the single most important unit on the earth: the family, and if this is established within the home, then we can no less treat others with the same honor and respect.

Apparently, we must learn to be responsible for our conduct towards others. And while this can be accomplished with the power of God in the latter years of our lives, God would prefer that it began at birth.

Our character is what drives our conduct, and that begins at childhood. It is during these formulative years that our attitudes governing our personal behaviours and desires in relation to the needs of others is shaped and molded. And this is primary focus of the Fifth Commandment: the imporatnce of learning to respect others while still children.

This commandment shows us from whom and how the fundamentals of respect and honor are most effectively learned. It guides us to know how to yeild to others, how to properly submit to authority. This is why the apostle Paul wrote,' Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ' Honor your father and your mother,' which is the first commandment with promise: ' that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.' Ephesians 6:2-3

God has placed the primary responsibilty for teaching children the basic principles of life directly on the shoulders of the parents. And He also made it the parents responsibility to teach the children His ways ,' only take heed to yourself, and dilegently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of. And teach them to your children and to your grandchildren,' Deuteronomy 4:9, and in verse 10,'gather the people to Me, and I will let them hear My words, that they may learn to fear Me all the days they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children.'

In Malachi 1:6, God challenged Israel and us ,' A son honors his father, and a servant his master. If then I am the Father, where is My honor? And if I am a Master, where is my reverance?' As our Creator, God is Father over all of us.

If our children see us as parents honoring and observing God, they will have the proper example to develop their own habits of respect and obedience, and will be able to apply this with a strong continuity throughout their lives.

As we instruct our children in this commandment, God's instructions to us is clear,' You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them dilegently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up,' Deuteronomy 6:5-7. Only when we as adults hold God's principles as utmost in our lives can we rightly instill them in our children.

In Proverbs we find many instructions and principles about how we should treat and honor one another. We should discuss these principles with each other and with our children every day. These discussions should be interactive, with all having a say, and no questions considered small. We should resolve with ourselves and others all biblical principles as accurately as God gave them.

By treating our children with dignity, by giving them proper respect as being as much loved by God as ourselves, then they will learn that other individuals deserve the same, and they will reflect Godly love in their amnners and treatment of others. Children need our guidance, irregardless of their age, from diapers, to the teen years, even into the middle age; as long as a parent breathes they have wisdom above their childs. And if children are instructed when they are young to respect this wisdom, they will, no matter the problems they face in their lives will seek Godly counsel.

And this is a missing link in childrearing today.

This commandment, sadly, has been abused by certain parents, in that they believe they have total control over their child, and while in a sense this is true, but not to the point of abusive behaviour on a grownups part; we need to keep in mind that God could have treated us harshly in judgement the moment sin entered the world. But His love and compassion has provided us with salvation, a chance to escape condemnation. And He provides for us without question, our needs, amen.

Bear in mind, that honoring parents doesn't have a time limit. It is a lifetime committment. Granted as we get older, we tend to chafe against our parents. We have a tendency when they tell us something, or try to guide us, to think of it as meddling in our affairs. And some parents certainly do meddle. But if an open line of communication is always kept , and if both parties respect each one anothers view points, without arguements, but in discussion, coupled with prayer and God's word, then all obstacles and all ill-feelings can be overcome.

And, there are those parents, who themselves are not honorable. How do we respect someone, who has made us a victim of certain abuses. It is indeed hard, to honor a guilty parent.

No where in this commandment does God demand that children of such parents continue to subject themselves to mistreatment. Still, we must honor them. To do so, with must deal with our feelings, and the attitudes the abuse has put on us.

Jesus tells us to love and pray for our enemies, (Matthew 5:44-45), and certainly an abusive parent does become an enemy. We should not harbor hate, for hate is of the devil; and hate may simmer for a time, but the day will come when it will erupt, the evening and morning news bears this out. If we are to hate anything, we should hate their sinful behaviour, for that is their trap; hate the sin but not the person; this is where God has drawn the line.

Next when we have an occasion to speak with or about our parents and grandparents, we should refrain from derogatory remarks and treat them with courtesy and respect to others. We should even pray that God will help them understand the error they are in so that we can be reconciled and the ill-feelings forgiven.

Finally we should conduct our lives in such a way that honors them through the example we set for our own sons and daughters, that even in abusive situations, with God's help we can rise above and conquer. Our own behaviour of respect towards the disrespectful, will surely show them God's ways.

Lastly, we know that wisdom comes with age, and we should find opportunities to spend time listening to parents and grandparents. Showing this intrest in what they have learned will brighten and encourage them as they age. We as children and grandchildren are beneficiaries of all that has been learned before us, and all that is taught to us. This is the commandment with a blessing, for famalies are the building blocks of societies. If families dissolve in their basic design as God gave it; then society and civilization will crumble soon behind.

Any individual group, families, nations who understand the importance of strong famalies will reap rewards when the relationships are based on honor to those over us, and keeping in mind that God is over all.

go to the Sixth Commandment

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